Parental realism devours youthful romance
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February would be a busy blind date season for my roommate Kathie. The weeklong Spring Festival holiday is still a month away but Auntie Wang, Kathie's mother, has already sent her daughter a shower of dating information.
Auntie Wang has already graded the gentlemen candidates according to career, income, family background, and appearance, and the date schedule is finalized and ready to roll. On Kathie's busiest day, she has three dates - morning, afternoon and evening.
My poor roommate!
I was commiserating with her when my mobile rang. It was Mum. "You know what your father and my greatest wish is now, Jincui? That you can find a good mate as soon as possible. I have lined up some blind dates for you during the Spring Festival holiday." Mother insisted I had to take the dates seriously.
Chinese parents interfere too much in the personal lives of their children.
One of my friends, Jenny, shared her blind date experiences with me: "I went to those dates and, like a robot, asked Mr X about his family, career and annual income."
Jenny became a speed blind dater after breaking up with her boyfriend. They were once the loveliest couple at our college. But when her parents found out that their daughter's boyfriend came from a not so well-off single-parent family and could not even afford a down payment for a house, they set their faces against the relationship.
Finally Jenny made the decision to break up with her beau. "I am not brave enough to chase love at the cost of my relationship with my parents. I know their opposition is for my own good."
"Marriage is not just a matter of love, but also a union of two families, so you must match in family background and social status." "You can deduct at least 20 years of labor and sweat if you marry a man with a house."... How often have we heard this kind of thing from our parents? We listen to their experience and gradually become marital realists, filing away our romantic dreams in a bottom drawer.
A recent survey conducted by the All-China Women's Federation suggested that the generation born after 1980 are particularly susceptible to parental pressure when they make marriage decisions. Although 77.3 percent of interviewees claimed they would not break up with their partner even if their parents opposed their potential marriage, wiser heads note that the survey reflects ideals rather than reality.
In real life, most young people surrender to parental pressure. After all, they are only children and they feel there is no way they can disregard their parents' opinion when it comes to making a decision about marriage.
