On red alert
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Although not welcomed by the guests who must stump up the cash, high-demand periods are a boon for the Chinese wedding industry, which is estimated to be worth more than 150 billion yuan ($21.96 billion), according to a 2006-07 report by the Organizing Committee of the China Wedding Expo.
On average, couples spend as much as 120,000 yuan on their special day, including clothing, venues and photography.
The 156-year-old Hongbinlou Restaurant in the capital's Xicheng district is famous for its 290-table wedding banquets on Sept 9, while its staff regularly serves 400 tables during the eight-day National Day break in October. Prices of dishes at expensive hotels and restaurants can also rise 10 percent during peak times.
The average price for a 10-seater table is 2,400 yuan at a five-star hotel and 1,200 yuan at a four-star. The cost can be a burden for many couples and experts say Chinese often think they should give more hong bao depending on the quality of the venue.
Yang Xin and her husband spent 16,000 yuan - 800 yuan a table - on a banquet at a five-star hotel in Beijing in 2006 but received 50,000 yuan in hong bao from 200 guests.
"We used the profit for our honeymoon," she smiled. "But prices are always rising and the longer you wait, the more you will have to spend. I feel lucky we married when we did."
But as a guest, Du Lun, 25, who works at a trade company in Qingdao, Shandong province, was less enthusiastic.
"I don't want to pick up the phone. I have already paid out more than 1,000 yuan in red envelopes this month and there will be even more friends calling to invite me to their weddings in October. I really don't want to go, if I do I'll be living on instant noodles for the next few months," he said.
However, even avoiding the ceremony cannot provide respite.
"I was on a business trip when my friend got married and could not attend, but I still had to prepare an envelope and ask someone who was going to present it. There is no escape," said Sun Meng, a 30-year-old office worker from Chengdu, capital city of Sichuan province.
"If I hadn't handed over the money, the bride and other guests would have called me unfriendly or tight-fisted. My relative went to a wedding banquet but realized he forgot his hong bao after arriving. The host couple has not spoken to him since," she added.
Experts say that, during the financial crisis, friends and colleagues have been trying novel ways to avoid having to fill envelopes with cash. Some pooled their resources to buy expensive gifts, such as ornaments and jewelry, while others offered homemade presents.
"The Chinese should learn from Western couples, who list what they need for the home so guests can choose to buy something based on their individual financial situation," said Beijing journalist Zhan Hua, 23.
It is not only the givers, but also the receivers who are often exhausted by the age-old hong bao tradition.
"We got 40,000 yuan in envelopes at our wedding but when I attend other people's I have to give them at least the same amount of money back, so it can be a hassle because I have to remember who gave us what," said 28-year-old newlywed Xu Jing, from Beijing. "When I go to weddings I always eat as much as I can to get my money's worth, and I noticed our guests did the same."
However, He Xi, 35, and his bride Pan Yihui, 25, decided to put the hong bao they received at their May wedding in Changsha, capital of Hunan province, last year to good use and donated all 6,000 yuan to help victims of the Sichuan earthquake.
"With the development of Chinese society, it is inevitable for people to use money to offer their best wishes to couples. But the tradition lacks rules," said Wu Zuolai, 46, a scholar in Chinese culture with the National Research Academy of Chinese Art in Beijing.
"Most couples invite friends and relatives without thinking about the money they will get in red envelopes, but guests put themselves under pressure and think they need to give as much as everyone else, otherwise they will be isolated or looked down on.
"A real friend would be horrified to learn their wedding was causing people stress, so people should follow their hearts and decide how much to give for themselves.
"Newlyweds and guests need to be educated in how to hold and attend wedding celebrations in a healthy, non-stressful way."
